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<\/p>\nBrad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other.<\/p>\n
One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and turns to the obituaries page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realises that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier, was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their database. It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Brad up.<\/p>\n
\u201cBrad, are you up yet?\u201d asks Mike.<\/p>\n
Brad sleepily answers, \u201cYeah, but I\u2019m only now starting my coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBrad, open the newspaper to page 5.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy, what\u2019s in the paper?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBrad, get the paper and open it to page 5 now!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOk, ok, I\u2019ve got the paper here, so what\u2019s in page 5?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBrad, look at the bottom of column 4.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy? What\u2019s that story on?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBrad, read the story on the bottom of the column already!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOk, ok, I\u2019ll start reading the column if you stop yelling in my ear!\u201d The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues.<\/p>\n
Finally, Brad comes on the line quietly and fearfully asks in a trembling voice, \u201cSo Mike, where are you calling me from right now?\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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\nA new widowed requested the epitaph \u2018Rest in Peace\u2019 for her husband\u2019s tombstone.
\nWhen she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving.<\/p>\n
This was impossible, the words were chiseled and could not be changed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn that case,\u201d she said. \u201cPlease add \u2018Till We Meet Again\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
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\nThree women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands.
\nThe first woman says, \u201cLast night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn\u2019t there!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know!\u201d the next woman says, \u201cLast night my husband said he was going to his brother\u2019s house, but when I called he wasn\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n
The third woman says, \u201cI always know where my husband is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cImpossible!\u201d both women exclaim, \u201cHe has you completely fooled!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no,\u201d says the woman. \u201cI\u2019m a widow.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and turns to the obituaries page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5853"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5855,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5853\/revisions\/5855"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}