I said that was fair. I asked for the check and paid it.<\/p>\n
Paula does not know that our daughter called me from the restaurant bathroom four minutes later, or what she said about the man at the next table.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s been over for a long time, Gene. You know that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe kids agree it\u2019s healthiest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo they.\u201d<\/p>\n
She didn\u2019t answer. She adjusted her napkin. The waiter had backed away from our table after she\u2019d slid the envelope across and said the thing about the kids, but he was still close enough to hear. I could see him trying to look busy with the dessert cart.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll be civil,\u201d Paula said. \u201cSign by Friday and we can keep it simple.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSimple.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. Simple.\u201d<\/p>\n
My name is Gene. I am fifty-eight. I have been married for thirty-one years to a woman who has spent the last two of them on her phone in the bathroom with the fan on.<\/p>\n
I endured the fan.<\/p>\n
I endured her book club that meets on Thursdays at a house where nobody reads.<\/p>\n
I endured her telling our son I was \u201cchecked out,\u201d which he repeated to me, which is how I learned I was.<\/p>\n
I endured the man at the next table, who came in alone, sat facing us, and did not order.<\/p>\n
My daughter\u2019s call came while I was still sitting there. Paula had gone to the restroom. The waiter had finally brought the check.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad. Don\u2019t react. Are you still sitting with Mom?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said she talked to us. She didn\u2019t. She told Caleb last night and told him not to tell you. She never called me.\u201d<\/p>\n
I watched the man at the next table. He was looking at his phone, but he kept glancing toward the restroom hallway.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, the man behind you. Gray jacket. That\u2019s him. That\u2019s the book club.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause he picked her up from my apartment in April when she said she was helping me move. I didn\u2019t say anything because I didn\u2019t know what it was. Now I know.\u201d<\/p>\n
I let that sit for a moment. The waiter was hovering.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to order dessert,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
I ordered dessert. Two spoons. Paula came back and sat down, and I told her I\u2019d ordered the chocolate thing she likes. She looked at me like I\u2019d suggested we burn the restaurant down.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe just had this conversation, Gene.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I wanted dessert.\u201d<\/p>\n
She didn\u2019t touch hers. The man in the gray jacket got up and went to the bar. He ordered something. I watched him in the mirror behind the bottles.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho\u2019s your friend?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGray jacket. He came in when we did. He\u2019s been watching you eat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paula\u2019s jaw tightened. She picked up her water glass and put it back down without drinking.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re being paranoid, Gene.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m being observant. It\u2019s my job.\u201d<\/p>\n
I am a claims investigator. I have been for twenty-six years. I look at people who say things happened and figure out whether they did. I look at documents people say are real and figure out whether they are. My wife has always found this boring.<\/p>\n
\u201cSign the papers,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll read them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s nothing to read. It\u2019s fifty-fifty. The house sells. We split.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe house.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Gene. The house.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich is in whose name?\u201d<\/p>\n
She paused. It was a short pause, maybe half a second, but I have been trained to see half-seconds.<\/p>\n
\u201cBoth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it?\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at me the way she looks at a waiter who has brought the wrong thing. A specific kind of irritation, the kind that suggests the problem is beneath her.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was refinanced five years ago. You signed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI signed a refinance. I didn\u2019t sign a quitclaim.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNobody said quitclaim.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did. Just now. With your face.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man in the gray jacket came back from the bar with two drinks. He saw me watching him in the mirror. He changed course and sat back down alone. One drink in each hand.<\/p>\n
I stood up. I put a twenty on the table for the waiter, separate from the check I\u2019d already paid, because the waiter had heard all of it and I believe in tipping well when someone has witnessed your life collapse in real time.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to go say hello,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cGene. Don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a free country, Paula.\u201d<\/p>\n
I walked to the next table. The man looked up. He had the expression of a person who has been told this would go a certain way and has just watched it not. He was younger than me. Maybe forty-five. Good haircut. Expensive watch.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m Gene,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you know I\u2019m going to ask what you do for a living.\u201d<\/p>\n
He set the drinks down carefully, like they were evidence.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a realtor.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course you are. And you listed my house when?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked over my shoulder at Paula. I didn\u2019t turn around.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t look at her. Look at me. When did you list it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not on the market.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why did the county send a copy of a quitclaim deed to my office, addressed to my wife, with your brokerage\u2019s return label on the envelope, on a Tuesday when she told me she was at book club?\u201d<\/p>\n
His mouth opened. Nothing came out. Behind me, I heard Paula\u2019s chair scrape.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll make it easier,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m a claims investigator. I have a copy of the deed. I have the notary\u2019s name. I\u2019ve called the notary. And the notary told me this afternoon, before I got dressed for my daughter\u2019s graduation, that the man who sat in her office and presented himself as Gene Lindqvist, with a driver\u2019s license, on the fourteenth of March, was wearing a gray jacket and had a very nice watch.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at his wrist. He looked at his wrist.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe remembers the watch,\u201d I said, \u201cbecause you took it off to sign the papers, and she commented on it. A Breitling. She said you told her it was a gift from a client.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paula was standing now. I still didn\u2019t turn around.<\/p>\n
\u201cGene, let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWas it a gift from a client?\u201d I asked him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGene.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOr did you buy it yourself with the commission you thought you\u2019d get when my house sold and I didn\u2019t know I didn\u2019t own it anymore?\u201d<\/p>\n
The man\u2019s face had gone a color I can only describe as gray-adjacent. The same color as his jacket.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not, \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not what?\u201d I said. \u201cIt\u2019s not fraud? Because I\u2019ve been doing this for twenty-six years, and I\u2019m pretty sure when someone forges a signature on a quitclaim deed using a fake ID, that\u2019s fraud. I\u2019m also pretty sure that when a notary identifies you from a photo, which I have, and which I sent her this morning, that\u2019s evidence.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paula grabbed my arm. I pulled it away gently.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re leaving,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re leaving,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m having a conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGene, you\u2019re making a scene.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m making a scene? Paula, you handed me divorce papers at our daughter\u2019s graduation dinner. In front of a waiter. You told me you\u2019d talked to the kids when you\u2019d only talked to one of them. You brought your boyfriend to watch. And you forged my name on a quitclaim deed so you could take the house I\u2019ve been paying for and sell it out from under me. But I\u2019m making a scene.\u201d<\/p>\n
The restaurant had gone quiet. Not completely quiet, there was still the sound of silverware, the hum of conversation from the bar, but our corner had gone still.<\/p>\n
The man in the gray jacket stood up.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I should go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you should sit down,\u201d I said. \u201cBecause I\u2019m not done.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sat down.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you know what happens,\u201d I said, \u201cwhen someone commits fraud involving real estate? It\u2019s not a civil matter. It\u2019s criminal. And do you know what happens when a notary cooperates with an investigation? They get immunity. And do you know what happens when a claims investigator has a notarized affidavit, a forged deed, and a cooperative county recorder\u2019s office?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou get prosecuted,\u201d I said. \u201cBoth of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paula made a sound. It wasn\u2019t a word. It was just a sound.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not signing anything,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m not splitting anything. The house is in my name because you forged a document that won\u2019t hold up in any court, and when your lawyer sees what I have, they\u2019re going to tell you that you need a different kind of lawyer. The kind that handles criminal defense.\u201d<\/p>\n
I picked up one of the drinks he\u2019d brought back from the bar. It was bourbon. I don\u2019t drink bourbon, but I took a sip anyway.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is good,\u201d I said. \u201cWhat is this?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
I set it down and looked at Paula. She was crying. Not sobbing, just tears running down her face, very still, very quiet. The way you cry when you\u2019re angry but you know you\u2019ve lost.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told our daughter I was checked out,\u201d I said. \u201cMaybe I was. But I\u2019m checked back in now.\u201d<\/p>\n
I walked back to our table. I picked up the envelope with the separation papers. I tore it in half, then in half again, and I left the pieces on the table next to the twenty I\u2019d left for the waiter.<\/p>\n
The waiter, to his credit, didn\u2019t say anything. He just nodded.<\/p>\n
I walked out.<\/p>\n
My daughter called me before I reached my car.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad. Are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened? Mom just came out and she\u2019s, \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s going to tell you I embarrassed her. She\u2019s going to say I made a scene. She\u2019s probably right about both.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not signing anything, sweetheart. The house is mine. Your mom and her friend made a mistake, and they\u2019re going to have to deal with it. I\u2019m sorry you had to see this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, I\u2019m not sorry. I\u2019m glad you didn\u2019t just, \u201c<\/p>\n
She stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust let her. The way you\u2019ve been letting her.\u201d<\/p>\n
I sat in my car. The parking lot was quiet. Through the restaurant window, I could see Paula still standing near the man\u2019s table, both of them talking, both of them looking at their phones.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been letting her for a long time,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m done now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n
I drove home. To my house. The one that\u2019s still in my name, because a forged quitclaim deed isn\u2019t worth the paper it\u2019s printed on when the notary testifies that the man who signed it wasn\u2019t the man who owns it.<\/p>\n
I called my lawyer the next morning. He laughed when I told him what I had.<\/p>\n
\u201cGene, this is the easiest case I\u2019ll handle all year. Do you want to press charges?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought about it. I thought about Paula\u2019s face in the restaurant. I thought about thirty-one years. I thought about the fan in the bathroom and the book club that doesn\u2019t read books and the way she told our son I was checked out.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d I said. \u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paula and the realtor were charged six weeks later. Fraud, forgery, and something else I didn\u2019t pay close attention to because by then I\u2019d stopped caring. She took a plea deal. He took a different plea deal. Neither of them went to jail, but they both got probation, and Paula\u2019s lawyer told mine that she wouldn\u2019t contest the divorce if I agreed not to pursue damages.<\/p>\n
I agreed. I kept the house. I didn\u2019t ask for anything else.<\/p>\n
Our daughter came over last week and helped me clean out the guest room. We didn\u2019t talk about her mother. We just folded clothes and boxed up things Paula had left behind.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou seem better,\u201d my daughter said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n
I am fifty-eight. I was married for thirty-one years. I endured a lot of things. But I\u2019m done enduring now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I said that was fair. I asked for the check and paid it. Paula does not know that our daughter called me from the restaurant bathroom four minutes later, or what she said about the man at the next table. \u201cIt\u2019s been over for a long time, Gene. You know that.\u201d \u201cI know that.\u201d \u201cThe […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4981"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4982,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4981\/revisions\/4982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storydosee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}